Breaking Past The Fear
There are times in our lives when we feel fear.
The feeling could start small, it could be a niggle or worry that can increase and grow. The classic snowball effect of fear is nothing new to many of us.
But, we aren’t the best at dealing with fear. We know the inspirational quotes -
“Feel the fear and do it anyway!”
But how helpful are those quotes when you start to feel yourself slowly being sucked into the quicksand of fear.
So, how do we practically look at fear, and how to we work our way through it? Let’s break it down into a few steps.
1) We Fear The Future.
Fear can be about so many things, but a lot of our fears are about the future. As humans we have a negativity bias, we tend to pay more attention to the negative than the positive.
How do we combat this? Make a point of being grateful - write a daily gratitude list and read it back to yourself. Take time out to focus on the things that you are looking forward to in the future.
2) We Fear Loss.
We fear change because we don’t want to lose what we have. We fear losing a loved one, a job, a possession, our health.
How do we combat this? Dive into change - it is inevitable. Accept that change happens and that it’s a positive thing - growth is change. Take a moment to think about that - you are all here to grow and learn. That is change!
3) Ask Ourselves - Is Fear Real?
Fear, is an emotion. Much the same as surprise, joy, anger - it is a feeling. And the one lesson I am learning over and over again is
WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS.
WE ARE NOT OUR FEELINGS.
WE ARE NOT OUR EMOTIONS
True story. So while we feel fear, sometimes that feeling is telling us a lie.
How do we combat this? Explore the fear, be comfortable in the discomfort of fear. Make friends with the feeling of fear. Because, it’s just a feeling. And we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings, we are not our emotions.
4) Learn That Fear Can Be Our Friend.
Yep, once we can break through and past the exploration of fear, we can start to use it to our advantage. How?
Each particular fear teaches us something. Remove ego, and break down what the fear is and where it comes from, and you can learn something that can enhance your life.
Examples -
“I am scared that people in work will realise I don’t know what I am talking about half of the time!”
Break it down - Is this you DON’T know what you are talking about half of the time? Be frank with yourself. If you need to get better at your job, then get better. If you need to leave your job - then look to leave. If you realised you DO know what you are talking about most of the time - the you need to look at your self esteem. There maybe an underlaying issue with that, and that can then be addressed.
If you want to hear more from me, or chat about fear then find me on my social media pages (all linked on this page here).
Until then, breathe deep and smile.
