Guest Blog, by Anon

This is written by a client of mine. She is a full time working mum with two small children and is struggling to find out who she is after having her youngest child 3 years ago; somewhere while on maternity leave during the pandemic, she lost sight of who exactly she is. 

Acts of Rebellion

As I type, I'm stood here (see picture on opening page)

I have taken the day off work, and told no one. Apart from work, obviously.

I left the house the same time, and came here, to watch the world wake up. This feels really sneaky, and even up till this morning I was battling with my head "I should tell my family, there are errands to run, cleaning to be done, we don't really have to rush as I'm not really due to be anywhere.

There are things I could be doing around the house if I just stayed put" But I also know myself, and if I hadn't have got up, and pretended today was a work day, I wouldn't be here now. I'd still be in my PJs, clearing up after getting everyone else ready and out of the house.

They would have left, the house would be quiet and I would have lounged around in my PJs till lunch.

Did I abandon my family? No, I did the normal routine, and left at the normal time. Even brought my work bag so as to not arouse suspicion.

I have arranged to meet friends for dinner, and won't be back till after bedtime. Will I miss my children? Yes. Would I have been home to do bed time if I was in work? No. So they are not missing out on me, they wouldn't have had me there on a normal work day.

Just because I have spare time does not mean I have to give it to my family.

Do I feel guilty? A bit, yeah, and that's ok, I can work on that. See, this day off is just for me.

I do have errands to run, but I also need time for me, space to recharge.

So I am here, with a coffee and a bacon toastie, enjoying watching this bleary eyed valley come to life. It's very calming to be still and watch cars in the distance racing to their destination.

I can hear the woosh of tyres on the wet M4 motorway, but mostly I can hear the birds. Singing their morning song and starting there day. There is also a small turf war between some magpies and wood pigeons over who gets to rights to eat from a patch of ground. The magpies flitting about while the pigeon amble through.

I don't often pay attention to the birds, but today, I'm making room. I'm probably a lot like the magpies, darting around. Maybe I should be more of a wood pigeon, moving at a slow, steady, conscientious pace. As of right now though, I'll think I'll just be me; sitting still (about to eat my bacon toastie!).