Reasons why you don’t have to tell everyone everything…

(A bit of a blog followed by my own life update.)

Confession: I am a recovering chronic over-sharer.

I still share a little too much. Especially if I feel anxious, I’m gonna blab, I’m gonna blurt things out and tell you way more than I intended to. And then I am going to go home, and worry about the things I overshared, and what I think YOU think about me because of it.

I used to talk about everything to do with my personal life, all the time. Seriously, my nickname in university was Jackanory, because I used to tell stories all the time about my life.

But a few years ago, I realised that when I share my thoughts with others, they tend to share their thoughts about that with me. And that because overwhelming.

So, I started sharing less, and less. And it felt a little nicer.

So, why is oversharing a problem?
Let’s say, there are different levels of overshare with different people, with three people in my life (my husband, best friend and sister) I don’t think there IS such a thing as oversharing. Seriously, those three know it all, and I share it all. My close friends know a lot. My acquaintances know some. Strangers know almost nothing.

Let’s say you overshare to acquaintances, they could feel awkward and uncomfortable. In my work people tell me a lot of things, I rarely feel uncomfortable or awkward (it’s my job to listen without judgement or reaction) but that’s in my job. I recently bumped into an old neighbour who told me very intimate details of her life - I didn’t feel uncomfortable, however I did feel like she shared more than she usually should about other people’s lives with me. I guarantee that others would be taken aback with her sharing (I mean, we’re British!).

Why is this an issue? You could learn to NOT truth the person who overshares. They clearly tell everything intimate things, so they may spill your intimate secrets with acquaintances too.

So, how do we stop?

We need to dive into WHY we overshare - I did it because I felt anxious and wanted to be liked so my mouth shot off before I could think. By addressing those issues, I didn’t NEED to overshare because my needs were being met in other ways.

What are your thought on oversharing?

So, now we’re at the end I can share with you what’s happening in my world.

I have been offered (and very happily said yes to) a job working for a charity. It’s a very “me” role, I will be the coordinator of projects that use surplus food from big distributors to feed and support local communities. From breakfast clubs to homeless shelters, I’ll be managing the voluntary projects up and down Wales. It’s a big challenging role, but one I am so excited to bite my teeth into. I am buzzing at being a part of real tangible change in a world which can feel so cold and hard.

Why? A few big reasons and a lot of smaller ones. I have run my own business for almost 8 years now, the job is my passion, however running a business is not. Mindfulness is my passion, marketing isn’t. Emotional support is my jam, invoice management is not. I miss having workmates, I miss having a regular income, I miss a commute (yes, a commute). I love boundaries and structure and having someone tell me what needs doing and when. I work so well to deadlines and instruction, I love being given feedback on my work, and learning and growing and improving.

Does this mean With Laura B is closing? Nope! I am still operating, just on a lesser scale. I’ll take a step back for a couple of months, find my feet within this new role, and then focus on With Laura B. The pressure of bringing in the cash every month has been taken away. And it feels really good.

I’m still working with my corporate clients, but that’s winding down over the next few months anyway (being employed by someone else or not, this was the plan).

My plan for the business in 2024 is workshops, 121 support and community support. Less big scale, more intimate and community work. It was always in the plan to become more local, focused and community driven, but this way I’ll be able to do this AND earn enough to travel, save and play more. And guys, it’s a really bloody brilliant charity. We are reducing waste and supporting those who need support.

So, there we have it. With Laura B is changing a little. I’m taking a break from super regular newsletters and blogs, I am being gentle with myself as I start this new chapter.

Until next time, L xx