Where is the calm?

My eldest child has started school recently, and she LOVES it. She’s always been playful, so loves nothing more than having playmates to bounce around with.

I love how spirited she is, unless it’s impacting on me.

By this I mean, if we have an appointment to go to, and she isn’t listening because she’s playing. So if she’s being playing and silly.

Before-I-had-Children me would have laughed and told After-I-Had-Children me to get over it, be fun, and let children be children. But I do this parenting thing day in and day out. Every day. And it’s easy to become wound up about these things, so easy.

I heard a simple, yet hugely effective coping mechanism to feelings of frustration and anger at children, and it’s to take a deep breath and say…

CALM STARTS WITH ME.

I can’t expect my little ones to be calm, when I am feeling tense.

If I can find some calm (and it’s there, I promise), then I can help my little ones find calm.

I remember when my youngest had colic (all parents of a colic baby unite when hearing another parent is going through it) I would hold her close and steady my breathing, and she would at some points breath in time with me. I try this now with the same child before bed, we breathe deeply. It works.

So, if I can remember that calm starts with me, then I can try and calm myself, which would (in theory) help my children be calmer.