Answering YOUR questions…
A little while ago I asked for feedback on what YOU want me to talk about and I had this as a response -
"Someone tears your idea or process to shreds but its something you put a lot of effort into. How do you not allow that to change your mood or energy?"
What a great question - and a VERY common thought process. And it's complex - and has many variables.
The fact that you put a lot of effort into the idea is amazing, and commendable. It also means that you really believe in the idea. It means you care about it - and that's a beautiful thing. Which also makes it hard when someone tears into it. I assume they were giving their opinion on it, and as a very wise friend once told me - opinions are like arsehole - everyone has one.
Sharing our opinion is something we always believe we're entitled to, even when it isn't asked for. So when we hear an unwelcome opinion about something we're emotionally involved in (our idea, a piece of work, a passion of ours) it can shake our foundations.
How do you not allow that to change? When people tell us things we don’t want to hear, our mood and energy will change. Maybe rephrasing the question to - “how do I manage my emotions when someone gives me negative feedback about an idea?” May help.
Understand your energy and mood MAY change when you share your ideas with them, accept that. If we have resistance to that it's harder. Acceptance of “my energy has shifted to the bad place” is being really kind to yourself. And when it does shift…
Recognise that your mood and energy has shifted, and allow that feeling to be there. Feel your feelings for as long as you need to, and then let them pass. Feelings come and go, but we have a tendency to attach ourselves to feelings. Let the feeling be, notice it without diving into it - this is a hard thing to do, but comes with practice - mindfulness helps. Let the feeling pass, then go back to LOVING and celebrating your idea.
What’s your relationship with the person who tore into your idea? Do you trust them? Would you go to them for advice? What impact does their feedback have on your idea?
Lastly - what do you need from the situation? Do you need someone to comfort you? Someone to cheer you on? Someone to give you a confidence boost with your idea?
Spend some time thinking about what you NEED right now - and go and get it. Ask for help from people who you love and trust. The let that shit go and focus on your amazing idea - the idea that you spent time and energy on. Because that’s important to you.
If you have any other questions then please feel free to DM me or send me and email - @withlaurab
Laura xx
