Finding Your Fellowship
The human race has an intrinsic desire for being part of a community - it’s felt on a primal level. We crave protection, loyalty, togetherness. being in these fellowships not only shapes who we are as individuals but it shapes our wider communities.
Within our fellowships we grow ideas, and we feel a huge sense of community, which is vital for our mental health.
But, what about these strange new times?
Imagine going through the isolation of COVID19 without technology? No facetime or Whatsapp, no Zoom or voice notes.
I bet some of you are thinking “that kind of sounds ideal” - anyone else been glued to their phone so long it feels like a chore? Or you feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of facetime, WhatsApp and zoom requests? Juggling work, the household, children, pets and your sanity now you have one more thing to juggle - digitally connecting with everyone you have ever met!
We need connection now more than ever, but we also need space away from our devices - so how do we strike that balance? what is important and what is actually harmful for our mental health?
I didn’t realise how much I missed interactions with human adults until I had a baby. The first few months are encapsulated within this baby bubble of glorious love and learning about this screaming demanding little ball of flesh. Then, when it’s calmed and you have kind of got the hang of it, you start to want to be social again.
It’s not as simple as heading out to meet your friends - you are always late, sometimes you don’t want to go and sometimes the baby makes it so that when you go all you do it feed and change and apologise for a crying baby. And the feeling of loneliness hits.
Isolation reminds me of those feelings, sure I have my partner to talk to, and he’s great (he really is a gem of a human) but…. Sometimes, I need more.
So - how to establish that balance of feeling nurtured and nurturing my fellowship (my precious) and not feeling a sense of those connections being a negative thing. Here are my top tips -
Set side time to be social - pre-COVID19 we would meet up for a coffee or a glass of wine and chat. And limit that time.
Establish your needs - now is a great time to check in with how social you want to be. Take some time out every day to establish your needs as an individual - not as a worker/parent/sibling/house maid. Take some deep breaths and ask yourself “what do I need today?” Give yourself a few moments to have that question answered.
Have phone free days - Switch off Sunday or Social media free Monday’s are a great idea to get perspective.
Have Zoom meetings where you ALL catch up - if you are lucky enough to have a friendship group hang out together once a week. It’s an excellent way of catching up without feeling guilty.
Don’t worry about feeling overwhelmed or guilty that you some days DON’T reply. True friends really won’t mind if it takes you a couple of days to reply.
If you feel like you need more support - find it. Message me! Reach out when you know you need that little extra support.
I hope this helps - stay safe, take care and give yourself daily hugs.
