Strange Times, With a dash of Anxiety.
We are living in strange times, 2020 is a year we won’t forget quickly. What can we say about it that hasn’t been said already? I am not a scientist, or a doctor, or a teacher. I am not in retail, or transport. I can’t comment on any of those things with anything other than opinion.
For me, COVID-19 is about learning, loving and being kind. But it’s also about anxiety.
I am learning about myself and my boundaries. I am learning that sometimes being kind is the only thing I can do - and so that’s what I must do. But I am also learning that feeling anxious is something I am getting used to.
Who doesn’t have up and down days? I FELT it today, I felt the pressure. Pressure to do more, to do better, the responsibility of the world’s health laying firmly on our collective shoulders was felt by me.
Less than a week ago, I felt nothing but safe in my own bubble.
The children (I have two) haven’t been anything less than brilliant (in their own 1 year old and 3 year old ways) and as a family we have enjoyed spending time together at home.
But today, I feel it.
Now the weather is brightening up, when I walk our dog I see so many people. I started to just come home as soon as I saw someone. We have started walking early or late so we don’t see people. My partner goes to the supermarket every 7 - 10 days and it’s fraught with stress. I am lucky, he goes out for us. I am so aware of the privilege we have as a family. I don’t take it for granted.
The facts and numbers I see on the news are weighing on me, and I know they will be weighing on some of you. The people affected aren’t numbers or statistics, they are human beings who had things to offer this world. Out of respect to them, I would really hope that people are STAYING INDOORS.
So, to all of us who are having wobbly days, bad days and days full of sadness, anger and questions - BREATHE.
Breathe.
Breathe in through your nose for a count of 5, hold for a count of 5, and breathe out through your mouth for a count of 5. If 5 is too little add another count, is it’s too high take the count down to 4.
By focusing on our breath we connect to the moment, we ground our minds and ourselves and we can take a moment to collect our thoughts.
I need to build a wall around my little family for the weekend, to re-centre and ground myself. Wobbles are normal, natural and happen to the best of us.
Sending love to everyone during this hard time,
Laura B
