Putting Me First: Part 1

Putting me first… The backstory.

I have always known that self care is essential to being content, I have spoken about it for decades (yep, I am that old) and always made sure people who I worked with (and friends and family) took time for themselves.

But, around 12 months ago, I started to really look deep into what that means - and how hard it really is.
And it turns out, it’s really hard.

Want to know what started swaying me? The book Untamed, by Glennon Doyle. Most specifically, the chapter Guitar. Now, if you haven’t read it, then head on to your library and read it. It’s soon to be a TV show (not a film) so if reading isn’t your thing then maybe the show will be your lightbulb moment.

See, putting yourself first is hard, not because we don’t have the time or money, but because we don’t know how or why. Our mothers, their mothers and THEIR mothers didn’t know how, and so we were never shown. But we are the generations to change that.

After reading Guitar in Untamed, I thought about the things my family and friends did that I never ever had the time to do and I really thought about WHY I never had the time.

I never had the time because I never put myself at the top of the important things to do list. That in itself takes work, to recognise and be okay with putting yourself up there. And then to DO stuff just for you…

I used to do a lot for me, then the roles of mum and wife took over. I had my girls pretty close together, so the whirlwind of nappies, sleepless nights, crawling babies, panic over newborns and being on maternity leave was real. And all consuming.

Add to that my Catholic upbringing (which has good and not so good points) which told me that charity was always best, putting others first was always best… THEN add to that being a good girl - I was SUCH a good girl (with bad girl outbursts) who always used her manners, always opened the door for others, always pleased others, I was a sweet social butterfly who knew how to please others.

After reading Untamed, I was left with a lot to think about. Then, in October last year someone I considered a very close friend did a shitty thing to me. Actually, two friends did, but for ease of storytelling, I’ll keep it simple. And something about the feeling I had after this event that started to make me look inwards at my own ideas about Putting Myself First.

And. It Hurt.

And I dove inwards even more for a lot of work on me. The result? I needed to do more shit that made me feel like me. For me. (That bit - FOR ME is a really important bit too.)

January seemed like a good month to start - and so I created my very first ever vision board. A collective of images of things I wanted to try, achieve and work towards.

And next week I’ll tell you ALL about that board. I may even share it with you!

L xx