Putting Me First: Part Three!
Let’s Dance! (The path to Putting Yourself First doesn’t always run smooth.)
With my vision board firmly in my mind, I booked the dance class. I was so excited - more so when I realised it would be held while I was ovulating.
I dunno about you, but I am almost two different types of people during my cycle - there is the outgoing, fun, children’s TV presenter, laughs-so-loud-she-wees-herself Laura, and then there is the quiet, tired, grunting, anti-social Laura.
Knowing the dance class was during ovulation so I would be tigger on acid Laura I was even more excited.
I know about the class and the lady running it because I followed the accounts Instagram page - it looked inclusive, fun and really high energy.
Okay, I was geared up - things were going to plan.
And then the woman running the class caught COVID, so had to postpone. FOR THE DAY BEFORE MY PERIOD STARTED. Not the best for me. Still…She was so likable, and upbeat, fun looking and relatable. So I could forgive her.
However, I wanted to cancel, I really wanted to back out. But I didn’t.
Backing out of things was something I was comfortable doing - I would say ‘yes’ in the moment because I like adventure, then I would back out the closer it came because I was not comfortable with new things. And doesn’t everyone say that pushing out of your comfort zone is good for you?
Also - this was the time I am dedicating to doing the shit I always put off doing because I always give myself reasons not to do them. Commitment to the cause - doing the shit I have always wanted to do but never did…
So, I was going. I was going and I would have fun, and maybe (just maybe) this would be the energy kick I needed so close to my period.
Having dipped a toe in the world of “woo woo” with learning about manifesting and similar I started getting hyped up about the class by visioning what the class would be like. I spent time imaging how happy I was going to be afterwards, and the friends I may make after attending the class. It felt good! It would be awesome and I was doing this for me!
The morning came for me to leave, and I was all ready and excited, my girls were too (the eldest begging to come with me). I arrived early because my anxiety seem to be mostly around time (can’t be late, never be late), and I waiting in the car until 5 minutes early because NOBODY likes someone too early.
In I went, a little shy but showing my best Laura self - and I was met with a reasonably rude welcome. Actually, can you call it a welcome? Nobody really said hi, or asked my name. And in a small class of 6 where the other 5 were known to each other and the teacher, I wasn’t introduced.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect a fanfare, but where in-jokes and previous experience was common, a little SOMETHING would have been appreciated. Something to ease the first time nerves that are so normal for a class like this.
And then we began to learn the moves.
It’s at this point in the story I need to tell you that contrary to my own imagination and ideas of my dancing skills - when I dance I do not look like Britney in her Slave 4U video.
Quite the opposite. My arms went one way, my boobs the other and my belly jiggled up and down like I was auditioning for a role as Father Christmas.
Dancing in front of a giant mirror is not fun. Learning dance moves everyone else in the class knew - kind of amusing with a hint of mortifying. And I really don’t think you want to know what it’s like dancing after drinking a gallon of water when you’ve had two vaginal births and never do your pelvic floor exercises… (There was a patch).
When I left, nobody really said bye, or “come back” or “hope that was fun!” Yeah, that felt shit.
Was it fun? A little, sure. I like loud and fun 90’s and early 2000’s girl band music, and I love dancing. Did I go back? No. Nor will I. It wasn’t right for me.
So, was it a success?
You’re absolutely flipping right it was!
Because despite the actual experience, I signed up for and attended a class I had wanted to for ages but always found reasons not to! I had put myself first in a way I hadn’t ever since having my kids.
The only question I had to answer was - what to book next?! But that’s for next week!
L xx
