Putting Myself First: Part 13
13 - unlucky for some - right?
Friday the 13th is supposed to be an unlucky day - the origins of this (thanks to a quick Google) comes from Friday being the day Jesus was crucified, weddings were not held on Fridays, and Friday’s were the “hangman days”. 13 is bad because the 13th disciple was Judas.
Further - I found this online - “In 1907, Thomas Lawson wrote a book titled Friday, the Thirteenth, which described a stockbroker choosing this day to bring down Wall Street.
More recently, the Friday the 13th slasher-movie franchise, which started in 1980, further solidified this day's notoriety.
Vyse, who specializes in the psychology of superstitions, says these kinds of beliefs are a way for people to "control the uncontrollable" and manage the anxiety that comes with uncertain situations.
Although there's evidence that believing in lucky symbols is beneficial, taboo superstitions such as Friday the 13th represents a kind of phobia, Vyse says.
In fact, fear of Friday the 13th has a name: paraskevidekatriaphobia.”
So, in thinking about what to share from my 13th part - I’m going mystical.
My friend recommended the book “a year of mystical thinking” by Emma Howarth and after reading it I wanted to try some of the bits in the book. I’m curious yet skeptical when it comes to things like this - tarot, crystals, asking the universe and so on - so when the book talked so much about these things the curiosity took over the skeptical.
And, in the spirit of open minds and exploration of things - I dove in.
How is this putting me first? Great question!
In order to do more of the stuff that makes me feel more like me than the roles in my life, I need to know WHAT to do. And in order to do that, I need to try. Like a blog a few posts back, my daughter is trying lots of different after school clubs to see what she likes, so far rugby has been a no-no, dance has been a yes-but-maybe-try-when-older and the big winner is Rainbows. I am applying this to my life! Maybe I’ll do a bigger think piece based on this thought…?
So, I dipped my toe into the mystical. Want to know what I did?
First step, I bought some tarot cards. My skeptical cynical voice was loud - how the HECK can a deck of cards tell me about my future? Isn’t it all just really rubbish commercial bullshit? I felt all levels of self-weird when I started, but the more I looked on Insta at how others use theirs - and the way that sat nicely with me - use them as a way of questioning something in life.
Having an issue, and then looking at it from a different perspective worked for me. What questions can I ask from drawing a car that I wouldn’t have thought about myself? How more can I explore that issue/thing in ways I hadn’t already.
Next step, crystals.
I’ll be honest, they aren’t for me. I tried sitting and choosing the ones the spoke to me - I didn’t hear much. I tried asked them for help with issues, again, I heard nothing. Crystals were not my thing.
Then, I went for a tarot reading. I dragged myself to a newish build estate and knocked on a lovely lady’s house and spent 2 hours with her as she chatted and pulled cards. It was really fun, and she was really nice. I asked lots of questions.
So, what did I learn about diving into all things mystical?
I love a vision board - for me they work. I love having a visual reference of my goals?
Tarot cards are fun to use while toying with an idea.
Crystals don’t work with me.
My cynicism is linked a lot to judgements I make about certain people in the world, and that’s okay as long as it doesn't overtake things.
Rituals are comforting for me - lighting candles as I work, standing on the grass in a morning, exhaling heavily before I walk in the house - really cathartic.
Putting yourself first isn’t just about doing everything you always wanted to do, it’s about pulling on the thread of something that you find interesting and learning more about it. It’s about allowing yourself to learn more about what you want to do. Sometimes, we think of things as being monetized, sometimes striving for “perfect” can have such a detrimental effect on us. You can be interested in learning to play an instrument and NOT have it the center of your world. You can paint and draw, and NOT have to open an Esty shop and sell your work. Hobbies can be just about your enjoyment for you, and you can try a hobby for a few months and stop if it isn’t something you enjoy.
Putting yourself first is about just that - putting what you fancy doing to the top part of your priority list.
Until next time, L xx
