Putting Myself First: Part 14
So, this is an odd one, something that you wouldn’t always recognise as putting yourself first.
Being Late.
If you’ve been in my world for a while, you’ll know that I get time anxiety. Being late causes some seriously odd anxiety.
I really really really dislike being late. And I am not a fan of just being on time. So, I do as much as is possible in my power to be on early.
Things I do include -
** Repeating the time to everyone in my household “we have to go in FIVE MINUTES people, FIVE. MINUTES.”
** Getting my children to put their shoes on and have a wee 15 minutes before we leave so this isn’t a faff. Sometimes coats on early too.
** Setting alarms, for everything. All the time. Everything.
** Waking up 2 hours before we have to leave the house (even though it takes me 20 minutes to get ready and 30 minutes to get my children ready).
** Rushing up on the school run, telling my kids to hurry up, keep walking, “come on girls!”
That last one I feel genuinely bad for, rushing a 6-year-old and a 4-year-old up a hill to school. For what? So I can avoid my being late anxiety.
My time anxiety is no fun for me, or for anyone else around me. It stressed everyone out and can leave us in a rushed mess. A worry of mine is that I pass my anxiety around time on to my girls. It’s no fun being stressed about being late for parties, play dates, school and so on.
On one school run my eldest asked me “what will happen if we are late?” And it made me think.
“Nothing.” I replied. “Nothing will happen.”
Because unless it’s a funeral, big work meeting, appointment at the GP or dentist or therapist - is being 2 or 3 minutes late REALLY such a bad thing? And if we think it is a bad thing - who taught us that? What does “being late” really say about us?
For me, I grew up the good girl, always the good girl. And being good means being on time. Being late means you don’t care about others, and you aren’t nice - two things I work my ass off to be. Being kind to others is in my DNA, so any action that shows others I am NOT that person is scary and really upsetting to me.
But that isn’t true. You can be late to a party sometimes and be a kind and nice person. The two things can coexist.
How am I combatting my time anxiety? By being a little late sometimes. On purpose.
SHOCK HORROR!
By telling people “We’ll meet at 11ish” and arriving maybe a 5 past, or 10 past.
I am yet to be late for the school run, there is a part of me that thinks it’s impossible for me to be late for these things. But we’ll see. I want my girls to realise that being late for some things is okay.
If we are ever late, I tell them - “we’re late for this, but that’s okay. Nothing bad happens if you’re a little late.”
NOTE - I am never late for a work thing, ever. If you book an appointment with me, I am there usually 1 minute early. Being on time for appointments is non-negotiable.
