Putting Myself First: Part 15

Last week I talked about my time anxiety and the things I am slowly trying to ease that, and to make sure I don’t pass the feelings onto my children. So, this week I want to talk about time, but in a different capacity.

I remember being around 30 and deciding to exercise more and eat better in an attempt to lose weight, and after two or three days of doing this, I was frustrated because I wasn’t a size 8. I’d eaten salads for three days - where was my reward!?

We live in a world where we are told, all the time, that we don’t have much time left. Maybe it’s a blatant “YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME” message that we hear when it comes to living our lives, having children, thinking about our own children growing up. Maybe it’s a more subtle creeping message that - from the birth of smart phones, smart TV’s smart watches etc. we are comfortable with the notion that everything is instant and therefore when things take longer than an instant, we get irritated, frustrated and feel let down.

Anyone else remember the days when Amazon Prime and Netflix were a DVD subscription service, and you posted them back once watched and had to wait a couple of DAYS to get your next DVD?

In the dating world (although it’s been 7 years since I was online dating) people are disposable, you can be on a date with someone and while they pop to the loo you arrange another date if this person doesn’t tick all the boxes.

We want everything, and we want it now.

But personal development isn’t quick. It takes consistency, hard work, periods of rest, reflection, outside support, hard times, times of no movement, and so much more. And it’s the same for the benefits of putting yourself first.

Believe me when I tell you, the benefits of putting yourself first can be instant. However, really pushing through the feelings of selfishness, the self-doubt, the insecurities to make putting yourself first a normal habit takes time.

Some of the things I have tried have made me feel a bit rubbish - but that’s all part of the process too. In the world that we live in, sometimes that would be enough to stop trying and to focus on something else.

I wonder how much we use that lack of instant gratification as an excuse or reason why we stop trying to fight for our own sense of self? Subconsciously, of course - because for so long we’ve put everyone else first, and then we try to put ourselves first and it feels hard, or bad, or not as good as we imagined it would, so we retreat.

Things take time - and that’s okay. Not everything happens right away. Be kind to yourself in this journey, because kindness is putting yourself first.

Until next time, L xx