I want you to make a judgement about me.

Hiya! Thanks for stopping by.

This week I want to chat about the things we show others about who we are.
Let me explain a little more - this topic came about from a really interesting conversations with my husband on our honeymoon about how we judge people.
We’re in York, and we booked in a wine experience at the wine bar Pairings (if you are EVER in York and you like wine I would highly recommend you go). We were discussing family members who outright say “I don’t like wine, it tastes like vinegar” (we have two family members who say this).

I commented that maybe there is an IMAGE associated to people who like, buy and drink wine, an idea created about a person who wants to learn more about wine.
And, if course there is. By reading this you have an image of someone.

Let me explain a little about who I am - I am a vegetarian feminist who doesn’t wash my hair using shampoo or conditioner, I love spending time in the woods, I love charity shops, and I practice gentle parenting with my children.

That’s quite the image. For those of you who don’t know me I wonder what you think I look like? For those of you who DO know me, you also know the many other sides of me.

In a training session I taught recently I asked the group if they would like the person I described I am without telling them that was a part of me. They all said they wouldn’t, at all. They thought she would be annoying, sanctimonious, not a great person to hang out with.

Let me explain some more parts of who I am - I love hen parties, spa days, dressing up for a night out, painting my nails and taking long bubble baths.

You get a different image and idea of who that person is too - and you wouldn’t marry the two images up to be the same person.

I am both those sets of people - and that’s totally okay.

Judging people is TOTALLY NORMAL - but if we hold onto those ideas of a person without knowing the whole person - that’s damaging for them and you.

What we need to start doing is basing people on their actions and how they treat us rather than what they do, what they look like, what they watch on TV or what they eat and drink.

The ethics behind judging others negatively is that you reject them before you know them, before giving them a chance to be known. And we need to start looking at who we judge and why we are judging them to be fairer, kinder and nicer to others.

If we can get in the practice of basing people on how they act rather than the image we see portrayed, then we’re happier, more content and more open to learning from others.

You’re reading this blog because you have an interest in self development, so I wonder if you’re brave enough to ask yourself who and what you judge negatively against based on how you see them rather than your experience with them as a person.

Pretty interesting food for thought.